Curiosities (part 2)

“Did you know that?” I think should’t be the right manner to begin this second post of curiosities about this people, that’s the most strangely intriguing that I’ve ever known…I think that the ideal manner can be “Did you ever in your life have imagined that such a thing could be possible?” Well…we’re now at the right feeling, the one that catches me off guard at each step of my now chinese feet, at each regard, at each unpretentious breath…unpretentious? That doesn’t exist anymore on my dictionary, ’cause of unpretentious people the hell has had enough! So let’s go, part 2:
– The traditional chinese bathrooms, on its most, have no toilets. I explain: it exists, but not in the way that we know it- gorgeous, ceramic, and immaculately white and clean. There is a hole, a kind of cesspool, but with their “toilet” inside- and it even has a flush! See the picture below, for a better understanding. Very important tip: NEVER, EVER FORGET TO TAKE A TOILET PAPER WITH YOU, THIS ITEM GENERALLY DOESN’T EXIST IN THERE!!! Just to be on the safe side! (And I keep asking myself why didn’t I put this on the first sentence of the first Curiosities, due to its extreme importance in our lives!)

– Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, thanks, please, sorry are concepts (I won’t even say words) completely non existing, the chinese do not appear to be those kind of persons that like this mimimis of good education…or maybe they are far more practical than us, and decided not to waste time on those kind of things! But they do not ask for reciprocity: my friend Silvia passed on the foot of a lady with a very heavy cart, and she didn’t even care! So I have a clue that this kind of behavior is accepted as bizarrely normal, and controversially well educated, on the best occidental meaning of the word!
– Chinese people work a lot, A LOT! Would you imagine a bank opening its doors daily? Everything opening daily? We have it here! Have you ever imagined a lot of workers of a construction work at full sail in the middle of the night? Also have. Need something to be delivered at your door on a Sunday afternoon? Yes! Really, there is a strong motive for China having became this huge world potency: your sons do not runaway of the fight!!! Even a simple water gallon can be delivered to your door by 7 pm!
– Have you ever heard someone talk about the “chinese smell”? I don’t have the pretension of describing it in all its magnitude, but try to imagine an omnipresent smell, that’s not exactly good…did it? Now imagine yourself, with your eyes closed trying to breathe the rain scent, on the 10th floor, and there it is, undaunted. At the elevator? Yes, it is. At the cab? As well, but add to this the bad breathe of the driver. The streets? Always, and so spread that it even backs you home, with all its strength! It is always there, and I’m beginning to think that this illegible and unforgettable smell it is some kind of divinity, that performs miracles and it’s everywhere, everyone, came from nobody, simply exists- unshakeable and sovereign! My worst nightmare is to be in possession of it and not even realize it anymore…May the force be with me!

– Needing an extra dosis of inspiration and joy? Come out! Everywhere, there are enchanting songs coming out of nowhere, just waiting to cheer up your day! Generally, are traditional classical chinese songs, with a mexican soundtrack kind of style. Eat alone? Not anymore, Kenny G made in China will be with you!
– The crime taxes are very low. Of course, who wanna go to jail in the country that most executes its prisoners in the world?
– There is an enormous persecution to gay people, not even a single advertise showing signs of congeniality to the movement is allowed! (I don’t know how they didn’t forbid someone of being gay, ’cause a time ago they released an order forbidding the Tibet lamas to reincarnate, assuming a position of Lords of the Universe). Unfortunately, in this issue China still have a lot of lessons to learn, despite being this milenar country…
– Thirsty? Want some icy cold water? It’s gonna be hard…here they have the strange tradition of drinking pure hot water to quench the thirst, even in the high summer! At the gym, we’re pleased with the hottest water to provide us even more heat, when you’re already sweaty enough!
– 77% of the chinese don’t know that SIDA can be prevented just by using condoms;
– The chinese doesn’t stand to ceremony when it comes to sleep: if they’re sleepy , they really lay down everywhere– furniture stores are perfect!! Wherever your imagination can go, there will be a chinese taking his nap!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s